hi, stranger.

It's been so long since I blogged on LJ, but I'm actually just rotting here for a short while before doing my work proper. Seems like I'm always feeling tired late despite the numerous cups of green tea each day. Bah. And it sucks to be aching all over and craving for a massage. LOL. Still, I enjoyed the sporty weekend! Bowling + ice-skating + jogging + swimming makes me a happy girl.

Ok enough of crapping. Back to work. (Or so I hope). =X

Won't be in Singapore from Jun 29 to July 8. Don't bother contacting me!


Cheers!

In a particular episode of Boomtown (which is a great show by the way), Ray the cop said a particular line, "Good news travel fast."

Well, bad news, even faster. Heh.

All I can say this, there's really no cause for worry about me. I have been handling the situation rather well, or so I believe. But it could have been much worse. For that, I'm thankful. Learning to take it as part and parcel of life's journey, but I'm taking a break right now, to re-examine what I truly want and believe in. Somehow things got so jaded along the way I just had to call it quits.

When will I start moving again, I seriously have no idea. I'm really enjoying the serenity these days before I start work again this week. Sigh. But in a way, it's gonna keep me distracted. Cliche as it may sound, time heals all wounds, isn't it?

The semester has ended on a pretty good note for me, with our efforts paying off for the video that the 3 of us slogged so hard for. Once again, thanks Xiu and Sikeng! This A grade wasn't easy to come by, and I do appreciate Nikki for all her guidance too.  =) Exams aside, I just have to finish up my last radio capsule and then start adapting to another environment at the workplace.

Speaking of a different environment, I shall attempt to do a mini revamp of my room even though I've only moved in for around 4 months, most of which I was hardly at home since NTU is so freaking far from Punggol. Haha. Figured that I need to make more space for myself and get rid of certain stuff. I really need to start many things afresh, and a stronger me will emerge in the process. Haha, somehow it's starting to sound a little silly to me, but oh wells.

Other plans for these holidays shall include the usual getting ample sleep, reading the papers more regularly, and saving up for the Taiwan trip!  So please, let me curb myself from overspending, even if I may get stressed out from work. Hahaha. =P

On another random note, there are a couple of people (in no order of preference!) I would like to thank for helping me pull through this semester rather smoothly.

斯铿: It has really been great working with you, for both radio and 229. Thanks for tolerating all my lame and bimbotic nonsense., and being there for me whenever I needed a listening ear. Simple words can't express my gratitude. 真的很感激有你这个好搭档,好朋友! =)

阿勇: I can't help but say something lame. 老爸!!! (I can so imagine your reaction now) =P Thank you so much for always offering to help us out in practically everything! My troubleshooter! 你简直就是神仙嘛! Lalala! It's been great getting to know you better this year and your occasional himbotic moments are seriously entertaining. Heeee. Don't whack me please!

婉晶: Heh, the SUPERB girlfriend whom I can pour everything to. The sweet gestures of showing concern for me really touched me. Wheee. I absolutely love our girl talks. You rock babe! I love you!!! (haha, and no, i DO NOT sound like rs) =P

Of course, there were others who have helped me along the way too, but I will die trying to list everyone. You all should know who you are! : )

Haven't blogged such a long entry in ages. Shall not drag the emo state and nostalgia any longer though.

Signing off,
the lazy blogger.

It's only during exams when we can finally cast aside all other commitments and responsibilities to focus solely on the books, notes, whatever. Wonder if it's a good or bad thing? Stress aside, at least I have the time to myself for these 2 weeks. Heh. This semester has been crazy, and it has ended sooner than I expected. Phew? Lots of things have changed the past few months; gained some, lost some as well. What's left of me is a girl struggling to hide her insecurities from the rest of the world.

逞强还是坚强？ 有分别吗？

I don't really know what is going through my mind right now. My thoughts scare me, I try my best to cast them aside. Is it working? I have no idea. Just keep pushing myself. At the end of it all, what will become of me?

On another note, I hate Econs. Bah.

Yet another note, thank you for appearing in my life once again. It came as a pleasant surprise. =)


What an utterly random entry.

终于，忙完了。 考试，也完蛋了。
真的感到很疲倦。

心，也累了。

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.

[Actually, I have no idea whether this is accurate for me or not.]

try it for yourself:  http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

Amazingly, I'm still feeling wide awake at this time despite just coming back from our last live show. The sense of nostalgia kicked in as we did our usual 'sing song talk cock'. =) It has been a wonderful experience, and I have to agree with Kaixin, I really love CS, especially this unique bunch of friends who share the same frequency! Wheeeeeee! Thank you all, for making me feel comfortable, and reducing the uneasiness I've been feeling for quite some time.

Photos another day, after I settle all the other stuff first. Still in the process of editing our huge project. Bahh.

Before I end...

Radio Fusion - Your Music, Your Voice 

And so, we're finally done with the drama performance. Phew. I'm glad that we did relatively okay, and we enjoyed ourselves in the process! Now, can I finally get more sleep please??? =P

...

I must be pretty good at numbing myself. If i say I'm not affected by those happenings, I must be a great liar. But oh well, life goes on, and the work is never ending. Bleahs.

I'm glad I am still surviving after last weekend, though I'm pretty much half dead. Wahaha. Finally wrapped up shoot last night with the help of my very professional actors gene and fish.. Thank you dears sooooooo much!! :)

Of course, not forgetting my crew, in particular my director of photography aka cameraman aka logistics personnel! =P 谢谢你!  It has not been easy, and god knows how many man-hours we've put into this. Gosh.



Results of the shoot: High costs incurred, dazed crew, aching bodies, and lots of good fun. Haha.
I don't really want to do any work now!! ><

Tune in to 双声你我他 tomorrow at 7pm! My second last show for this sem!

You Are 85% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

I guess this is the period of time when everyone just wishes the exams would faster come and end our torture. Really frigging irritated with alot of things/people. Bleah. And I've barely started the battle?

229 filming + editing, trend story, drama journals + essay + production, 3 more live shows, econs midterm, 青青校园...
Life is so perfect now.
Would appreciate some peace, thank you very much.

I have a HUGE chocolate craving now. Bah.

Working this week has left me really tired out, but I can't get a break either, because the real battle starts now. Bleah.

To quote Mr Tan, "We must be zai ok, not zai also must act zai." Haha.

Ganbatte!

Went back to AJ for the inter-house drama competition yesterday with a couple of seniors yesterday. Oh boy, how much I miss the school! =( It was good to see that things have progressed a little, but each time I go back to either AJ or SN, I see a lot of unfamiliar faces, especially since both the principals are gone. Haha. Goes to show that we are really old now. Had a very satisfying dinner with the StAJeWorks people too, though I miss those days when Miss Wong was there with us! Hope she's doing good now.

Heard from stef today that they are going to rebuild SN, so the secondary block will be relocated to Toa Payoh come next year. *sigh* It's sad to see that happening, but I guess it's inevitable. My primary school has already shifted to a new building long ago so I no longer visit it anymore. Wonder if the same thing will happen in the next 2 years or so. Sheesh.

CNY dinner with the boyfriend's extended family today was kind of awkward because I'm not exactly close to them, but thank goodness for darling Jingqi who relieved my boredom through her smses.  =) Caught the Protege with Daniel after that, and I really loved the show, although some scenes were a little disturbing. But on the whole, I liked the way they shot certain scenes and taking 229 has really changed my perspective on watching films. Hopefully it would help for the coming video we have to shoot after the holidays. Hehe.

On another note, I realized that my sleeping hours are totally warped now, and I can never fall asleep before midnight. Whatever happened to the plans to sleep more huh. Hopefully things will get better during the recess week, though I don't exactly know how, with the work and all. Call me a workaholic, but I guess I need a change of environment for a while.  =)

Let me find the self I am truly comfortable with once again.

I just realized I've been eating a lot today.

One hotdog bun at 2 plus, a sandwich at 5.40pm, and I conveniently forgot about the sandwich until I polished off a packet of instant noodles at 7 plus!

Gosh. What's wrong with me today.

It must be the stress this week. Bah.

我没有怪你，你的处境我也明白。我们要一起加油ok!

今天的心情，很糟。所有不如意的事都接二连三的发生，搞得我差点儿喊了出来。
现在只希望二月十四日尽快过去，好让我们可以暂时休息一下。
想说的是，很感谢身边的人能体谅我的漂浮的情绪，尤其是Daniel ，陈先生和婉晶。
真的辛苦你们了。。 谢谢！

朋友们，情人节快乐！ ：）

Want to dedicate a song to your friends and loved ones? Write in to rfusion.dedication@gmail.com!